The Last of the Light
by NovemberBlueSky
Summary: Alternate ending to TLJ, premise: Ren was lying about his Force vision. Rey gains some wisdom from the Force and tries to save Ben. No one is just good or evil, we've all got some grey in us. Maybe we have to save each other before we can love each other. Rated M for eventual smut, angst, possible character death.
1. Chapter 1

Apologies to everyone who has already read this first chapter prior to this author's note, the urge to write hit, and I let it take me where it may. I'll put some of the stuff that I put here in the A/N for chapter two, so no one misses anything.

Note on spelling: I know grey looks weird, but that's how I was taught to spell it. You might see a few extraneous u's floating around. If it bothers you greatly, please pm me, and I'll try to find a beta quickly.

I have a loose idea of where this story end up, but if there's anything you guys want to see in particular, event- or ship- wise, please let me know, and I'll endeavor to work it in to your satisfaction.

Thank you and please keep the reviews, favourites, and follows coming! xNBS

* * *

"I saw your future. Just the shape of it but solid and clear. You will not bow before Snoke. You'll turn. I'll help you."

As his mind tried to process her words, it ground to halt. He knew she was strong in the Force, as strong as himself, if not more so. His own connection with it had been cloudy for weeks, ever since killing Han then watching his mother's bridge get destroyed. His turmoil, further exacerbated by this girl, this scavenger, no one, picking up a lightsaber and besting him, in any condition, had affected his mental clarity. Snoke had felt it, ridiculed him for it.

He felt her through the Force, pulsing and alive, her strength and surety, and the Force showed him something too - her bowed before him, then two figures hooded and cloaked in a desert wasteland, one with a bundle in its arms, and her again, face red and contorted in panic, the light in her eyes slowly fading.

Ren had felt a rightness in her words and felt somehow that his vision was the furthest thing from solid and clear, like so much of his life had been. Those scenes had felt like possibilities, what might come to pass.

He impulsively twisted the vision, saying what he knew would wound himself the worst, would probably throw her, unbalance her, give him back the upper hand, get her before she got him any worse, "I saw something too. I know that when the time comes, you'll be the one to turn. You'll stand with me, Rey. I saw who your parents were."

For a moment, her eyes shimmered, the answer was close, right here, at hand, but the shimmer began to take another form, strangely he saw her own face reflected in her eyes.

"It doesn't matter who they were. I came here for answers, but I got the truth instead. The only thing that matters is the choices we make now. The past doesn't have to define us. That only leads to an endless cycle of pain and emptiness. The only way out is forward, Ben. Don't live with the ghosts of your past, move on, with me." She reached out her hand, the tanness of it stark against the black and white of the elevator, despite being on the run in ships and off Jakku for weeks now. Idly he wondered if the sun was as strong as Jakku's, wherever she was, and if she was tan all over or if she had a scavenger's tan. He realized belatedly that his hand had risen to be level with hers, only a few inches between their outstretched fingers.

The hiss of the elevator door preparing to open interrupted him, breaking his concentration, and she was gone; the tenuous connection broken. The helmet that had been forgotten in his hand fell to the floor with a loud clunk, he absentmindedly crooked his elbow slightly, flattened his hand, palm towards the floor and parallel with it, and brought it down a few inches, using the Force to crush the relic to the floor.

He ordered the inferiors waiting outside the elevator to prepare his ship. Her words ran through his mind over and over endlessly cycling, but he could feel the truth and hope in them resonating in his body, causing shivers. He felt so angry that she was the one the Force spoke transparently to, she was the one that was driving him away from his destiny, from the Darkside.

He let all his conflict and anger roll along their Force bond. It was her fault and when she wasn't standing in front of him, with the damnable light sparkling in her eyes, he no longer felt centered, connected with the Force, confident in his actions. He let his need to break something leak to her too.

* * *

She felt his emotions and intentions pressing against her mind, spilling over from his side. How could he feel so right when their bond opened enough for them to see one another but turn so toxic as soon as it closed up again? Living with such constant turmoil must be exhausting. She would know. Everytime she thought she understood what she had to do next, what her place was, it got all turned upside down.

After defeating Kylo on Starkiller Base, she thought she had to go to Luke to train to kill him, but after the bond had revealed itself to her, she felt that there was still goodness in him. Intending to kill him would only drive him further to the darkness. And after the disappointment that was Luke, she had no idea what the next step was.

She idled on Ahch-To, watching Luke, hoping he would decide to train her. Whenever she meditated, she could feel Ren, the Light, and the Dark. Her meditations started becoming a blur of white and black and red until everything was grey.

Luke eventually took her to the outlook and walked her through understanding the balance of all things. When she connected to it, her mind drinking in the sunlight soaking into her skin, she felt darkness calling to her out of the hole. As her body reveled in the light, her mind was drawn down to the darkness.

Luke had sensed her mind being drawn to it, even as her being achieved balance. It scared him.

Later, after exploring the seaweed strewn hole and receiving that bizarre vision, she returned to the promontory, this time she noticed the pool she had seen there last time, but this time, she really payed attention to it. It was a meditation pool, lined with black and white pebbles in the shape of a cross-legged Jedi. There was something about it that made it easy to miss. Now, however, it had her full attention.

The figure was evenly depicted with both black and white stones. It reminded her of that moment right out there on the outlook. She sat cross-legged at the base of the pool facing the opening in the rock. Her reflection lined up with the shape in the pool. She let her eyes close, and her Force connection open to island and everything on and around it.

The Force reached back to her, but it was different. It felt complete, yet it scared her because it wasn't the pure white light she expected. It was the grey of her other visions. She stopped struggling to understand it, and let it come to her.

Some of the grey was becoming lighter, and some darker, until an outline of a shape appeared. A man's shape.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys, apologies for the lack of author's note or intro for the first chapter. The urge to write hit, and I let it take me where it may. I updated the first chapter so it has an author's note, but there's nothing there that is not also here. I made minor edits to chapter one for continuity's sake. I would advise rereading chapter one if you pick up on it, but if not, it was literally a handful of words that I changed, so no worries.

Special thanks for my first reviewer, ConstantBreeze! It definitely helped me get started with this chapter sooner than expected with the review, favourites, and follows.

Note on spelling: I know grey looks weird, but that's how I was taught to spell it. You might see a few extraneous u's floating around. If it bothers you greatly, please pm me, and I'll try to find a beta quickly.

I have a loose idea of where this story ends up, but if there's anything you guys want to see in particular, event- or ship- wise, please let me know, and I'll endeavor to work it in to your satisfaction.

Thank you and please keep the reviews, favourites, and follows coming! xNBS

* * *

Rey laughed at Chewie's dismayed wail at the porgs that had taken over the Falcon. It felt good to laugh, and Chewie seemed to notice the change it brought over her, and let out another growl. It was almost like normalcy had returned to the ship.

There were comfortable routines they had each fallen into, which included basic food gathering, what few unappetizing choices the island offered up, wood gathering, for heating the caretakers' homes, and maintaining the Falcon. It needed a lot of cleaning. After sitting on Jakku for so long and being with its original master for so short a time, it was largely in disrepair, though functional. Not much she could do about the damaged or badly upgraded tech with the supplies on Ahch-To, but with every passing day, the feeling to move on grew stronger.

Until now. Now she knew her time had come. Luke had nothing to teach her; there was nothing left for her on this rock. Except for one last truth.

Rey confronted Luke, "Did you intend to kill Ben before you confronted him? Tell me the truth!"

He hesitated, and she could feel the truth. But she needed to hear it, know that once again, one of his heroes, his mentor, his guardian, had betrayed him.

"I could see the darkness growing in him, Rey. I thought for a moment that I could stop it. I was arrogant and wrong."

Her mind spun as yet another revelation came to her; he was not a legend, he was human and as scared of the dark as the rest of them. Out of all the wisdom she had wrung from him, never had he before admitted fault or weakness.

"Rey," Luke started, as she moved to turn away but instead looked at his face, their eyes meeting. What she saw there in his eyes scared her. "Has anyone taught you to shield your mind?"

"I protected it from Kylo when he captured and interrogated me about the missing map piece to Ahch-To."

She saw determination enter his eyes. "Then it might not be too late. Follow me, Rey. I cannot teach you much, but this may be the most important."

"Why, Luke? What does it matter? We need you to fight alongside us, and you refuse. I need you to train me, and you refuse. There's no point. No hope."

He was shaking his head fiercely, "I was wrong, Rey! I was wrong about Ben, and now I realized I was wrong about you. I thought that same darkness was growing in you, but if you are protected, then that cannot be. You must have a very strong mind to resist him, maybe strong enough yet to have hope."

He led her to the outlook, but she sat instead by the pool. He seem startled by her choice but compiled. She sat at the base, as she had before. He sat at the head.

"It's too dangerous for me to open myself to the Force, but I will try to teach you the theory. I want you to imagine building walls around your mind. Creating an impenetrable sphere."

She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate. She felt balance come to her, felt her anger with Luke be tempered with understanding. She began envisioning a dome protecting her as she sat on the cavern floor. She felt it grow in strength, helped by her connection to the pool.

Luke saw her begin the exercise and knew that the rest was in her hands and in the Force.

Suddenly a tremor struck the outside. She jumped, frightened, and felt her shield flex and quiver before resuming its form. It struck her suddenly how alone her felt. She reached through the dome feeling along a taut grey thread, and there he was.

Rey could see Kylo, panic written across his face in all the subtle ways their connection let her see. She drew the connection closer and closer until they were standing opposite each other in a pearlescent sphere.

Kylo assessed the interior surface, "Where are we?"

Rey shrugged, "Somewhere safe. I think."

"What happened? I thought you'd died. Your side of the bond disappeared."

"I was practising shielding. Luke seems to think it's important. Are you okay?" Ben was looking stricken.

He choked out in a rare moment of unmasked uncertainty, "Luke's not using the Force. You need to triple the strength of your mental shields. Block out the bond as completely as you can. I will try to enter your mind, do not rest or eat until I cannot get in."

He wrenched free of the connection before she could understand his fear.

As soon as she felt her body again, the dome trembled, cracked, and crumbled.

Kylo's voice echoed in her mind, "Again."


End file.
